cleansing tears

"God met me in the shower.

water falling, both from my eyes and from above.

I asked Him, "is it okay that I feel this way?"

and He said, "it is."

and I remember, so clearly, crying out the heaviness.

my humanity, not at all new to Him."

in a place of so deeply trusting what the Lord is doing because He is worthy of that trust and faith-- how do you process and healthily engage with the "ouch... this really hurts.."?

James talks about the trials that "test our faith," so that we may develop perseverance and steadfastness and at the end of the day look more like our Savior. we are to count these trials as joy- and the deeper that I have gotten in my relationship with Jesus the more I realize that the strength of a person's faith can be tangibly seen by their response to a season of trial.

there are two extremes that I have seen to be the case when christians engage with seasons of trial. the first- to shout it from the mountains that they are enduring hardship and let everyone know just how great a christian they are... or the second- gritting their teeth, putting their head down and feeling like they have to be "fine" through it all because they trust that where the Lord has them is for their good.

the first extreme is what I would think that a baby christian does. feeling like their suffering makes them more holy. the second is what I feel that more mature believers fall into- and it's no better than the first. both of these extremes put distance between us and the heart of Christ.

I think we so quickly forget the humanity of Jesus. we forget that God fully knows that sin entering the world means our life is going to have hurts. and we forget that yes, He is Almighty God, but He is also a kind dad.

and kind dads don't just stand to the side when their kid makes a dumb decision and falls and scrapes up their knee. no, kind dads are immediately at their child's side, scooping them up and helping to ease the pain.

but before they can ease the pain with ointment and a bandaid and a popsicle, they do have to clean out the wound.

and the cleaning of the wound, the trial, is where many believers find themselves stuck in not knowing how to handle the deep levels of hurt that they're experiencing.

so in knowing that God is a kind dad-- let's acknowledge that He is not the one who places us in valley seasons. He ALLOWS them to happen, knowing the big picture and the outcome on the other side- of us looking more like Jesus. He's a shepherd guiding us, His sheep, through the valleys that without Him we would be stuck in.

so, He's 100% for us, wanting to guide us and hold our hand through the hard. but where does pain play into all this? how does the Lord want us to approach it?

here's where I think the humanity of Jesus comes into play. humanity that can be clearly seen in two words: "Jesus wept." Jesus felt pain. physical pain, emotional pain, relational pain -- and He responded by weeping. letting the tears wash clean the fresh cuts made to His heart.

it is not good to dwell, but it is good to feel. and to allow those tears to help the Father with the process of cleaning the wound that has affected your life in some way on a deep level. be vulnerable before the one who wants to help you to heal. allow the pain to be something that pulls you closer to the heart of Christ, not create distance from it.

Jesus' best friend claimed to not know Him. His people hated Him. He endured every kind of temptation from the enemy known under heaven. there is simply nothing that we can go through that He doesn't understand in a real and tangible way.

so express your pain to Him. don't fall into the fear of Him expecting you to have it together all the time. because He simply doesn't. never has, never will.

hear His whisper, "no one but me, no one but me," and lay claim to the everlasting comfort that comes with understanding only He can be what we need. only He will not fall short. only He can carry the burdens that weigh down our souls.

help Him wash clean your wounds with your tears. and when you lift your gaze to meet His, you'll realize His tears are cleaning it too.