covered

"and for whatever my feelings don't yet allow for,

the blood of Jesus will surely cover"

~lysa terkeurst

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it is far too easy to make forgiveness about us. to hype up ourselves in our minds and to others about how big we're being by choosing to try and forgive those who have caused us pain. and then we try to justify the things that we "just can't forgive", believing that it's okay to hold parts of those hurts in custody to bring out as ammunition if circumstances arise. we allow the hurt to control us, allow it to give us an identity that we grow to feel lost without. and we forget- that piece of hurt, no matter how tiny, that we choose to hold rather than release to the Father, is something that our hearts need forgiveness for as well.

we are called to live "peaceably with all" by the Father above. the second greatest commandment given us is to love our neighbors as ourselves, making them greater and us less. so in regards to those things that we're holding against people in our communities that have wounded us- do they show humble submission to the Lord and the higher way that He's called us to live? mmm well THAT one is hard for me to swallow oh my goodness. our inability to fully forgive is a sin in and of itself to the Father. that's humbling. we need forgiveness for our disobedience to the higher way of living we are called to just as much as we believe the person who has wronged us needs to be forgiven. the sin and mistakes they've made do not outweigh our response and inability to give the perfect grace Jesus calls us to give.

all of this is NOT to say there is something wrong with us when we feel incapable of forgiving. we are human. messy, imperfect and in need of never ending grace. our human tendency to hold grudges and struggle to let go of past pain is a natural result of the fallen world and the enemy's hold on our minds. oh what a perfect gift to us then it is that the blood of Jesus is enough to cover it all! not only does this spilled blood redeem the hurtful words and deeds that others may be at fault for, it also covers the part of your spirit that clings to human nature and refuses to release forgiveness for them . it covers the actions by which you have been hurt by another, while also covering your soul with grace for its prideful nature. the blood of the perfect Savior covers ALL of it. the parts you try to forgive, the parts you just can't seem to. OH how much this truth releases us into the peace that comes with knowing the crushing weight of perfect performance is off our shoulders. when we are not enough on our own, Jesus is all that we need and more.

knowing that our own unforgiveness needs just as much forgiveness as the person who wronged us opens our eyes to Jesus' overwhelming love for all of humanity. the only one who ever and will ever be able to fully forgive- and the price needed to be paid was his own blood, his own life. how much should we view others in this light- worthy of redemption, worthy of any price. allowing yourself to fully be submerged in the love of Christ and processing the price He had to pay gives us the ability to look at others the way He does- worth the trouble and worth the grace. and when our hearts aren't able to fully feel this way, the blood of Jesus covers the situation completely. in full. in every way at all times. oh, blessed redeemer, this Jesus is MINE!

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"when i'm lookin' at my sin

i know He's lookin' at that tree

if you're lookin' for me

i'm under the blood"

~Maverick City Music Tour