feeling sheepish

if you're around me long enough sheep are inevitably going to come up in the conversation. so much of my life seems to be tied to this theme of knowing I am a sheep, learning what it means to be a sheep, being bad at being a sheep, and having my shepherd continually come to my rescue. because I am a stupid sheep.

learning how to live as a sheep is a constant lesson of submission. letting go of what I think is best and how I think things should go and just falling in step behind my shepherd. trusting that He is aware of all the things that my little sheep brain cannot take into account and is leading me somewhere good.

I think that I very quickly forget that being a shepherd is an actual job. like he's not there because he finds joy and loves being around animals that smell bad, require constant supervision and can do nothing to defend themselves. hello? that sounds like a nightmare.

shepherds are known to be the lowest on the social ladder, taking on this undesirable profession as their means of survival. I can't imagine anyone willingly choosing this kind of work of having to protect and guard animals that have no way of protecting or guarding themselves.

but...

our Jesus welcomed the job of shepherd because He LOVES us. He gave up His position of glory as King for a job that pays Him NOTHING. oh, but wait! that's not all! He actually had to pay to allow us a chance to be shepherded by Him. and He paid a lot. He paid His life.

and now we are His sheep. His dumb, wanna go our own way sheep who mutter under our breath about how we think we should have His shoes and His staff as we shuffle along behind Him.

we desire to take the authority that He has. we try to take it all the time. but just how silly would a little sheep look trying to wear a pair of human sandals? that is not going to end in our favor. at all.

we're just going to be stumbling around, tripping every step over shoes that are way too big for us and aren't created for a sheep to wear in the first place. bet you anything that we get no further than maybe a couple steps before we're either stuck and helpless on our back or in a ditch from tripping over our clonky sandal feet. taking the shepherd's sandals did nothing for us as sheep except make our life a whole lot less steady.

and a sheep honestly isn't too steady on its feet in the first place.

and the staff? it's what our shepherd uses to get us back on track when we follow a butterfly a little too close to the edge of a cliff and what He uses to beat back the predators that know just how defenseless sheep are. meanwhile, we don't even have hands to hold a staff, let alone do anything productive with it. a sheep in charge of a shepherd's staff is just bad news- and simply useless for all parties involved.

and yet- we still reach for the control that does us no good all. the. time. we put on His sandals and end up in the dirt and we try to carry His staff that is purposeless when it's in our possession.

and our Shepherd just watches, patiently waiting for us to hand back over the control that is safest in His hands.

we are the most safe when He is in control. safest when we decide to lean into the agreement that we are not capable of anything in our own strength. safest when we understand our place as sheep and live in submission to the places He decides to lead us to.

because He already gave up His glory, His blood, everything under the heavens that was rightfully His because our souls were worth it to Him. so why would He decide now to lead us anywhere that was less that His best for us?

as we shuffle along behind Him, our footprints inside His, we have the chance to remember that He became like one of us. a sheep. the lamb of God slain for the sins of the world.

and when He gets down on our level to pour oil out over our heads to rid us of the flies that haunt and taunt our minds, we get to look into eyes that say "I get it. I see you. it's okay." and that same oil anoints us, adopting us as heirs of an everlasting Kingdom.

there is so much beauty in being a sheep. beauty in understanding how helpless I am and how in need I am of a shepherd who truly cares about me. it's humbling, for sure. but so very healing.

we have a REALLY good shepherd. and the longer I walk out this life, the more awe I have that I get to be His sheep.

His beloved sheep.

a sheep's view of psalm 23!

I am shepherded by my Father, and I am in need of nothing because I have you. You lead me, and I fall in line with your footsteps. I know I can trust where you take me because you come with me there. you are restoring the broken parts of my soul with every step. you teach me to walk uprightly for the glory of your name. I walk through trials and feel too weak to carry on, but I know I'm going to be okay because you stand beside me. your discipline and protection surround my life. I eat a meal with you as my enemies watch in chains, they watch you anoint me, drawing me into your family and dispelling the lies that cloud my mind. I have all that I need when I get it from you. I am sure that the heart of God goes with me everywhere I go, and my room in Your house has been made ready for me! and it's mine forever!