newly named

"and i will lean back in the loving arms

of our beautiful Father

breathe deep and know that He is good

He's a love like no other"

~lean back

---

identity is not my strong suit to be VERY honest. the enemy knows the natural tendencies of each of our hearts and the ways that he can place banana peels in our path to make us slip and fall back hard into our old identity.

I struggle with feeling that I am worthy and enough-- for both the Father and the people around me. human motivations often tell what someone's core desires are- and mine happen to be that I want more than anything to be deeply known and deeply loved. this is so incredibly evident by the way that I treat my relationships- going to the end of myself to offer love to them the way that I so very much long to be loved.

I am in a season where the Lord is refining me to extend love without expecting to receive it in return. without even meaning to, my flesh naturally reaches to gain rather than give. and even in my giving, my gaze is set on what I am collecting on the back end of my "good works."

ew. becoming aware of that fact has made me feel gross. made me feel like a phony christian-- so frustrated with the truth that I am so unlike Jesus in the midst of trying to imitate Him.

and that's when the enemy's name-calling starts. like flaming arrows in my mind, the shooting lies at my identity when I'm already down and out. dirty, shunned, not welcome, disappointment, unworthy, broken, to name a few. and boy are there lots more...

this is how the enemy ALWAYS gets me. always. and even though I'm aware that his mode of attack is almost always on my identity, I never have my sword drawn, prepared for battle. never ready to fight these lies with truth.

enter Jesus. my good shepherd. my defender in battle. the one who is able to fight against these lies of identity and WIN.

every time I start to believe the lies of unworthiness that the enemy speaks over me, I am brought back to the foot of the cross. back to my knees, looking into the eyes of my Savior, gazing at me with so much love in His eyes as His beaten and bruised body bleeds out.

it is there that I am reminded-- my identity is not even mine. when I believe the lies that I am not pure, that I am not worthy, that I am a disappointment, I am telling Jesus that His blood isn't enough. but oh boy, does He deserve more credit than that by a long shot.

it's a process of learning to agree with the words that the Lord speaks over you. agreeing that by His son's wounds, you are made pure. worthy. a pride to your Father. agreeing that on your own, you are a broken and sin-ridden human. but by the grace of a good Father and the blood of His son, you have been made a holy child that He dearly loves.

agreeing to daily surrender to the Father's overwhelming mercy. every morning, waking up and saying "yes, Lord, I agree that by your son's sacrifice, I am worthy to accept your love."

this is how we receive our new names from the Lord of the universe. names that He speaks over us as He envelops us in His loving arms, a Father desiring only for us to know the fullness that is life with Him.

fully known, fully loved, newly named. this is the identity we claim as children of the most High King! hallelujah!

---

"I thought I was too far gone

but You always leave the light on

praise God, praise God, praise God

I'm coming home"

~prodigals