quiet trust

---

this one's for the hearts that are struggling with the change that comes with stepping into a new season. I am struggling with you.

and not struggling in a "I hate this season I am stepping into and don't want to go" kinda way- my goodness I have been giddy about going back to my sweet ranch home for literally months. but struggling in a way that has brought to light my desire to clench tightly to control and my tendency to live in the shadow of fear.

if I had to use one word to describe this year at Auburn it would be fullness. the Lord has been kind beyond belief and the gifts He has given I have been nothing but undeserving of. I truly have come to know fullness of life with Him, a life marked by the beauty of redemptive grace.

I didn't imagine how hard it would be to step away from the good gifts He's given with leaving for the summer. it is a true blessing to have people and a place that feel as close to home as you can get on this side of heaven, and I did not expect the pain of separation that came with leaving for three months. hard.

I've been reminded a lot lately of what Jesus told His disciples when He commissioned them- "go gather the lost sheep of Israel." the 12 had been sitting under the teaching of Jesus, for the purpose of going out to a lost and broken world. they weren't meant to stay where they were. they were meant to be sent.

I have been caught in a desire to cling to what is comfortable, trapped in a fear that leaving my good auburn gifts for a season will result in them being taken away. I have failed to wield the truth that the Lord is not looking to take His good gifts away- that is not the character of a Father who loves His children.

as much purpose as He has for my story in my little alabama town with my little auburn people, there is just as much purpose in His sending me out from the place I find my comfort in for a short time to a country and world that needs the truth of the gospel more than ever.

this is the beautiful truth of the place and the people you are struggling to leave: they have helped to equip you for the purpose the Lord created you for.

who am I to cling tightly to the gifts that should not have even been mine in the first place? the people, the place, the church- all given for the purpose of refining in me a spirit to go out and boldly proclaim the gospel.

so, this season, I am stepping forward clinging to a quiet trust. trust that I am equipped with the Holy Spirit to bring the hope of salvation to lost souls. trust that relationships founded on Christ will continue to stand and flourish. trust that the good Author is writing a beautiful story that brings glory to His name and fulfillment to my life.

give the pen back to Him. trust He's writing a beautiful story that when you look back three months from now, you will be weepy at the redemptive joy of it all.

the step of faith into a new season can be hard and scary, but we were never meant to hold control. we have always been meant to release it all and lean back into the arms of our Father.

quiet trust is our strength.

“forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

see, I am doing a new thing!

now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18/19

---

"go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

and proclaim as you go, saying,

'the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’

heal the sick, raise the dead,

cleanse lepers, cast out demons."

-matthew 10:6-8