wellspring of life

"I walked into the heart of God.

and I found my home.

I will never be the same."

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my mouth can get me in some serious troubleeee let me tell you. gossip and slander are two sins I fall into far too easily. crazy how the more you seek to walk in close intimacy with the Lord, the more you become aware of your sin tendencies. unkind words and thoughts are one of mine, and lately I have been convicted hardcore by things that used to be able to come out of my mouth with no remorse.

Luke 6:45 has been on repeat in my mind for about a couple weeks now, reminding my heart after every slip-up how my mouth speaks from what is "abundant in my heart." hmmm yeah okay so what does that say about my heart then when words of gossip and disdain so easily pour out of my mouth? that's definitely not a heart modeled after the Father's desires I can say that much.

why have I become so starkly aware of things that I used to engage in without a second thought? does it make me a bad person that I sat in sin for so long before the Lord moved enough in my life to convict me? working through guilt is something christians struggle with heavily as they become more in tune with the Father's heart. shame feels unbearably heavy when remembering past struggles. inadequacy loves to creep into the minds of those trying to put off their old self to put on the new. BUT GUYS!!!! HOLD ON!!! OUR JESUS ALREADY REDEEMED ALL THAT SIN WHEN HE SACRIFICED HIS OWN LIFE FOR US!!!!

for us to kick shame in the behind, we need to first acknowledge that there is a distinct difference between guilt and conviction. guilt is what the enemy uses to keep us distant from the heart of God. conviction is what God uses to remind us of the life we're called to and help steer us back to that path with gentle reminders of truth. how do you differentiate the two? simple. one forces you into hiding and paralyzes you with fear. the other encourages you to be honest and gives accountability from your brothers and sisters in Christ.

feeling conviction about your words and actions + sharing that with another belonging to the Lord's kingdom keeps you both accountable and aware of the things rolling off your tongue. it provides a friendly nudge of correction when your words don't reflect the truth of Jesus. it's hard, it's humbling, but it molds you to look more and more like Christ daily.

conviction doesn't start by just being aware of your speech. it isn't a result of "feeling bad" about your words coming out harsher than you meant them to. conviction is rooted in a decision made to live life fully for the Lord, and a prayer that daily He would tune your heart to look more and more like Himself. it comes from intentional time spent with the Father, both in His scripture and in prayer, learning more about who He truly is at the core.

when you come to know Jesus more and more, you yearn to grow to be like Him more and more. and you begin to realize HARDCORE when your actions and words do not align with His heart. you begin to REALLY notice what your motivations are and become painfully aware when they do not reflect the desires of Jesus.

what a blessing it is to be refined by the Lord to look more and more like the heart of Jesus. kindly drawing us nearer to the throne of grace as we seek His hand. thank you, Jesus, for loving us enough to convict our hearts and teach us true righteousness!

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"above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life."

~Proverbs 4:23